A few days ago, I took on some new managing responsibilities in the apartment building across the street. This means I work regularly at a building that is within the boundaries of a local elementary school which has exceptional ratings, which gives me a valid means to transfer Ethan to said local school. I happen to know they have space because they just hired a new kindergarten teacher and opened a new class. This threw me into a loop of rethinking my decision to do kindergarten at home.
One thing which has prevented me from rushing out and doing the paperwork is that I just blogged about how wonderful homeschooling was for our family right now, and I received a lot of positive feedback and encouragement from my readers. What has changed? Am I a flake? And can I be this much of a flake in public?
When I made the decision to homeschool, this school was not an option. I was choosing between homeschool and a school whose rating is 5, where lots of kids were just learning the language. Now I have the option of a 10, where there is a strong gifted and talented program, and where it's pretty normal for kids to start kindergarten and already be reading. Additionally, I know a handful of moms whose kids go to the 10 school; they are involved moms and all love the school.
So, I'm wondering if this is just a question of grass looking greener on the other side or if it's something I should pursue. I can see myself as one of those involved moms who loves the school. I think I would like walking to school with the boys in the morning. I think Ethan would like having class with 18 kids his age. My mom says it's a win-win situation, that both options are good.
My question is - will the guilty feeling go away? Does choosing not to homeschool, having briefly chosen it, make me a bad mom? Does happily imagining myself with only Scott for 7 hours per day mean I don't love Ethan enough? Will he quit caring what his dad and I think and only care about what his friends think? Will he be challenged? Will he get bored and act out?
These are the kinds of thoughts swarming around in my brain.
7 comments:
There is no reason that either decision - homeschool, not homeschool - must last forever. If you try the local elementary school, it may work fabulously, and your prior decision to homeschool meant that you were able to easily have that option whereas it may have been more difficult if you'd enrolled him in the other school (I don't get how California schools work, so I may be interpreting that wrong).
If you try out the school and it doesn't work out best for Ethan, even if it doesn't work a few years down the road, there is nothing to say that you can't return to homeschooling then. Now that you've made that initial decision and leap, maybe it will be easier to do so again in the future, if desired.
When I was in first and second grade, I was miserable. I was way ahead of most of the kids in my classes because, like Ethan, I had a mom who was really involved and had taught me the things that we were learning in school long before I ever got there. Because I learned basically nothing during the school day, my teachers sent extra "special" homework home for me to do. Blech. My second grade teacher wanted me to skip a grade, but I was already the youngest in my class, and, let's be honest, I would just be bored to death in a room full of kids who were even older. For the third grade, I started at a different school in the gifted and talented program and it was like night and day. I loved school. I loved the kids in my class. The teachers were accustomed to working with kids who learned a lot at home and we could work at a pace that was good for us. We also got to do lots of cool activities like field trips and science experiments that the other classes didn't do. Because all of the kids in the class were intelligent and ahead of their "grade level," we all became great friends. My mom was still involved in my education, but I also got to spend my days with a bunch of kids my age who I had some things in common with. I also think that going to that great school was a foundation for my love of school throughout the rest of my life. I'm not saying that such a school has to be the best thing for Ethan, but it was definitely great for me.
It's okay to change your mind -- new options make it a whole new decision! My two bits as someone who taught in public school for 6 years -- there is a lot to be said for learning how to work with other children (even of all ability levels). And I don't think you can start too young. If you think he'll enjoy it (and you will too) -- there is a whole realm of experience that school can offer that perhaps you can't. I agree with your mom -- it's a win win.
We were going through the same things with Megan. All I can say is academically nothing's better than home HOWEVER there are many things as far as life living that are learned in school (getting along with others and realizing that others may have a different view of the world). Either way is good. I was homeschooled and because I knew what opportunities as far as high school that I missed (I was artsy and sporty and notso much liking the academic even though I excelled at it) I decided I wouldn't have that as a choice for my kids. If the other elementary school is that good jump at the opportunity. :-D but that's my two cents. Either way works.
i think public school is a very healthy option for ethan and you. i don't think you should feel guilty about wanting more "you" time--maybe you'll value the time you have with ethan even more than you currently do if he is away for a few hours. i also think ethan will LOVE socializing with the other kids. and if it doesn't work you know that homeschooling is always an option that you even enjoy! you are a great mom and don't need to feel guilty--the ignoring parents/ thinking friends are the coolest thing in the world etc is all part of growing up. i don't think it can be avoided homeschool or not.
A lot of times when the grass looks greener... it's because there's more manure :)
guilt--yes and no, you'll probably always feel guilt about something.
bad mom-pshaw. You love your children, feed them and try to do what's best for them. Bad mom does not enter into the equation, unless you are talking with someone who has no respect for other people's choices that don't jive with their world view.
You love Ethan. Enough said.
He will quit caring to all appearances at some point, but reality is that he will never quit caring on the inside.
Challenged? You'll only know if you try.
Act out? Well, Ben stuck his nose in a book, maybe it will be contagious?
Whatever choice you make, we know it will be a good one.
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