Here comes the sun

Here we are, it's a beautiful Thursday afternoon in sunny southern California. It's so sunny that I am too hot in 3/4 sleeves and jeans. I may have to dig out my capri pants and some short sleeves and start using that razor that hangs out in the shower.

This morning was my last lesson for a while with Liz. I'm recording the first movement of the Mozart Saturday afternoon and I sure hope it's good because I have invested a lot of time and money into preparing for this. Lessons, babysitters, and not to mention my expensive accompanist. Despite the high monetary cost, I feel good. This is a goal I've had for a while and I'm nearing its accomplishment. I'm submitting the recording as part of a teacher training scholarship application AND to get clearance to continue teacher training.

In other news, I finally cleaned out my fridge. It has been on my list (at the bottom!) for months, but it is finally done. The sticky puddle of a substance formerly known as orange juice is now gone from underneath my produce drawers, the shelves are white again, and the whole thing is virtually gleaming. "Fill me," I hear it calling from the kitchen. That's my next project - grocery shopping. Unfortunately, it will have to be postponed because dh just called from school and asked for a ride. He has thrown his back out again. When I spoke with him, he was shuffling across campus, hunched over like an old man. He has done this before. Poor guy. He didn't want to ride the bus for an hour to get home.

Back to the sun. Yesterday I wrote on the whiteboard "Be the sun!" 2 days ago, I remembered a story about a competition between the sun and the wind to remove a man's coat. The wind blew with all of its ferocious might, but the man held his coat tighter around him. When the sun came out, its gentle heat warmed the man and he soon removed his coat. That story reminds me that I want to motivate by gentleness and love, not shouting or threatening or other worse ways. This is Day 2, and it has made such a difference in how I feel about myself and how Ethan responds to me. While I was cleaning out the fridge, Ethan prevented Scott from sticking his finger in the socket and from climbing over the gate, extremely helpful for me. Granted, he still sat on Scott once and hit him on the head with Joseph (from the Fisher Price nativity). But, we are seeing progress.

Learning to control my temper is much more of a challenge than learning to play a violin concerto. Maybe if I think of it this way, it will be easier to deal with setbacks. I spent hours and hours in the last five months practicing, listening to recordings, watching my taped lessons, etc. It will take the same kind of effort to meet this challenge. At this moment, I feel up to the challenge, a little bit like Tracy when she says "I think I can". If she can do it, I can do it, too.