Something is making my heart change. It's softer. I think it's bigger. It has to do with being a mom. While I have usually been happy that I have children, I have felt something different in the last few weeks. I feel greater joy in motherhood. I feel more commitment to mothering. It's something that I want do, not just something I should do. I feel more connected to my kids. I'm enjoying the time we spend together. My temper is not as close to the surface as it sometimes has been.
When I started blogging 6 years ago, I had a baby and a 2 year old. I found some online friends or to be more accurate, I found some mommy bloggers who probably have no idea that I exist, or if I do exist, they know very little about me. Despite never having met, I feel like I know them. I think of them as friends. I tell my husband about them. I've enjoyed reading their struggles and triumphs in mothering, the funny stories about things their children do. I've cried as I learned of the sorrows in their lives - divorce, serious illness, job loss, financial need. I have prayed for them. Their stories have helped me to navigate my own mothering.
Along the way, my family has grown. Now I have an 8 year old, a 6 year old, a 1 year old, and a tiny unborn child who we affectionately call "the lemon baby" right now (approximate size as of a few weeks ago).
We had a hard time getting pregnant between #2 and #3. For a long time, I thought I would be happy with just two. Life was good, after all. Having 3 has been such a joy. I have loved seeing my boys love their baby sister. They are amazing helpers. When we were trying to get pregnant, we prayed daily as a family that another baby would join our family. 3 years later, the boys still thank God every day, multiple times a day in prayer, that Elizabeth is part of our family. Now they also thank Him for "the lemon baby". Perhaps it is the sincerity of their prayers and the mightiness of their affection for her that has helped change my heart.
I have found two amazing and faithful women who have significantly impacted my thoughts and feeling on motherhood. They are role models for me. One is homeschooling mom of 10 and author Mary Ostyn of the blog owlhaven.net . You can read an interview with her HERE. I have read both of her books and absolutely loved every single word of A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family. Every woman even contemplating having children should read it. It debunks the myth that 10 kids is 5x harder and 5x more expensive than 2 kids. Beyond that, it was just pure pleasure to read. It really resonated with me. It also opened my heart to the possibility of adoption. (I'm not saying that I'm going to end up with 10 kids. I'm also not saying that I'm not.)
The other is Tsh, writer at SimpleMom.net and founder of Simple Media, which included 4 other blogs: Simple Kids, Simple Homeschool, Simple Bites, and Simple Organic. Tsh is the author of Organized Simplicity, which I have checked out multiple times from the library already. She has given me so many great tips and ways to organize my time, my home, my life. She is the one who taught me to begin my day by eating a frog (which basically means doing the worst thing first. I'm still working on that). More than anything, she is a great model of intentional living: thinking about what you want out of life and then living to make it happen. Tsh is also the one who introduced me to Pinterest. I had heard of it, but avoided it for a long time, but she showed me how to use it as a meal-planning tool in her e-book One Bite at a Time. (Only $5 and so worth it.) She is also a homeschooling mom, has lived abroad, and is an all around great person in my estimation.
I just remembered one other thing that my boys have been praying for on a daily basis, as I re-read this post to edit it. They have prayed daily that "mom can control her temper". Yet another example of prayers being answered. (Not that I'm perfect yet. There is always progress to be made.)
God is good. "...and if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them..."
Who inspires you?
4 comments:
You, of course!
Hey, no fair! Ben stole my comment... In all seriousness, you really are an inspiration. Thanks for your uplifting post.
Aw, you guys are making me cry, and it's not just pregnancy hormones. Thanks for your kind words.
It's so great for me to read your post right now when the children are driving me absolutely up the wall. I keep praying for patience and unconditional love towards my children and the ability to remain calm during the insanity that is our life. I'm finding progress...slowly but hopefully surely. :-) You're amazing, I hope you know.
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